How to Relax While Making Love

Lori Davis

Set a controlled fire in the corner of the bedroom.

It will help you to focus, set the mood.

Rekindle the argument you started last week.

It's a comfortable bed of nails to recline on.

Turn the ceiling fan on high.

Ignore the rattle. It only seems like it will fly off

and decapitate you both.


Do not forget the corner. The flame is great

for the trance, bad for the drapes.

Take a thick, black marker and write do not disturb

across the door. Super glue the lock.

Remember, there is relaxation going on in here.


Begin to undress in slow motion. It's okay,

smoke-filled rooms are even more flattering

than candlelight. Keep one eye on the clock

and the other one free to roll back in your head.

You should be unsure now

if the heat in the room is from burning love

or the spreading flame.


As the house comes down around you,

as you share this gift of togetherness,

these magical moments of tenderness

you will notice your heart

finally beginning to slow. Check your breath.

See how slow and steady it has become ­

feel how unnaturally shallow.